Besides growing up being indoctrinated to love no other sports team other than ones from the University of Arkansas by way of an entire family system that ran on the highs and lows of seasons in the Fall, it is hard to say why I love Arkansas football so much. The Hogs have never actually done anything for me, outside of giving me emotional highs and lows throughout the years along with great memories of times shared with friends in and around games. On the contrary, they have actually given me plenty of reason to not follow them so intensely. I have lived through more heartbreaking games and seasons than not, yet like the main character in a bad Lifetime movie, I find myself returning to my emotionally abusive love time and time again.
With no tangible reason, I simply love Arkansas football....perhaps too much.
Yet, even with this strong, unrelenting love for the team, I do not find my identity in being a Razorback fan. There are plenty of people that identify me with the team, as being a fan, much like I am identified as being a rabid Jack Johnson fan. While I am ok with this, and see no problem socially or even theologically with people being able to identify you with something you enjoy, it remains to not be who I am.
I find my identity in Christ...alone.
Unlike the Hogs, who have nothing for me, Jesus has done everything for me. My team constantly practices, trains, and plays as if I were nonexistent. They have done this for years and will continue to do so. I could go up to any of the players and not be known in the slightest by any of them. This is not, however, the same case for Christ. He has, and continues to do, everything with me in mind. If it wasn't enough that He gave His own life as payment for all that I've done that falls short of God's glory, He continues to seek me out with His unchanging and unconditional love day after day, loving me as if I were the only one in existence. Now that's something to get excited about.
While I do reserve much of what little emotional energy I have to go towards football in the Fall, that is not because I love Jesus any less or place football any higher. For me, it is simply because I place only a fraction of my spiritual life within the confines of emotion. I see God speak to and through me in many different ways that are not emotional. I often find emotions to be tricky and a bit deceiving, not to mention I don't emote much in general. That is not to say that those that find emotional release and comfort in their relationship with God are less "together". That's just my style.
So, as I find myself reluctantly coming to the latter part of another college football season, I do have a distaste for the drought of entertainment in my life that I enjoy living vicariously through my team but know that at this time of year, as with every time of year, I look to Christ as my strength, guide, power, and fulfillment. Football teams come and go, players have good days and bad, things of this world (even football teams) ultimately disappoint. But, it is the love that God continues to so graciously shower me with, despite my best efforts falling short of being worthy of Him, that sustains me.
I truly believe there will be football in heaven. There has to be...its just so good!
btw: sorry for the Jesus-juke
-peace
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