touchdown jesus: my love of football's place in life

Make no mistake about it: I love college football.  More than that, I love Arkansas Razorback football.  (yes I did say, and mean, "love", as in "having deep affection for")

Besides growing up being indoctrinated to love no other sports team other than ones from the University of Arkansas by way of an entire family system that ran on the highs and lows of seasons in the Fall, it is hard to say why I love Arkansas football so much.  The Hogs have never actually done anything for me, outside of giving me emotional highs and lows throughout the years along with great memories of times shared with friends in and around games.  On the contrary, they have actually given me plenty of reason to not follow them so intensely.  I have lived through more heartbreaking games and seasons than not, yet like the main character in a bad Lifetime movie, I find myself returning to my emotionally abusive love time and time again.

With no tangible reason, I simply love Arkansas football....perhaps too much.

Yet, even with this strong, unrelenting love for the team, I do not find my identity in being a Razorback fan.  There are plenty of people that identify me with the team, as being a fan, much like I am identified as being a rabid Jack Johnson fan.  While I am ok with this, and see no problem socially or even theologically with people being able to identify you with something you enjoy, it remains to not be who I am.

I find my identity in Christ...alone.

Unlike the Hogs, who have nothing for me, Jesus has done everything for me.  My team constantly practices, trains, and plays as if I were nonexistent.  They have done this for years and will continue to do so.  I could go up to any of the players and not be known in the slightest by any of them.  This is not, however, the same case for Christ.  He has, and continues to do, everything with me in mind.  If it wasn't enough that He gave His own life as payment for all that I've done that falls short of God's glory, He continues to seek me out with His unchanging and unconditional love day after day, loving me as if I were the only one in existence.  Now that's something to get excited about.

While I do reserve much of what little emotional energy I have to go towards football in the Fall, that is not because I love Jesus any less or place football any higher.  For me, it is simply because I place only a fraction of my spiritual life within the confines of emotion.  I see God speak to and through me in many different ways that are not emotional.  I often find emotions to be tricky and a bit deceiving, not to mention I don't emote much in general.  That is not to say that those that find emotional release and comfort in their relationship with God are less "together".  That's just my style.

So, as I find myself reluctantly coming to the latter part of another college football season, I do have a distaste for the drought of entertainment in my life that I enjoy living vicariously through my team but know that at this time of year, as with every time of year, I look to Christ as my strength, guide, power, and fulfillment.  Football teams come and go, players have good days and bad, things of this world (even football teams) ultimately disappoint.  But, it is the love that God continues to so graciously shower me with, despite my best efforts falling short of being worthy of Him, that sustains me.

I truly believe there will be football in heaven.  There has to be...its just so good!


btw: sorry for the Jesus-juke


-peace

mama never mentioned there being days like this

Throughout Christendom singles are taught to conduct themselves in a certain manner that, if done correctly, will allow them the joys of relationship bliss that God not only condones but also blesses.  Interestingly this advice is often given by people that are married and no longer relate to the struggles and pitfalls of navigating the world of “finding someone” and is often taught as if the audience has never heard any idea on how to date someone.

While there is no set formula that guarantees success, there are plenty of rules that are looked upon as the gold standard by which someone is to find a mate.  Often these rules are good ones such as “seek God first and someone will come along that falls into place with your Godly desires”, “search for character over physical attributes”, or “be modest, pure, and above reproach”.  These rules are, in fact, good ones to live and conduct oneself by, but what happens when they don’t’ “work”?

I’ve read the books, listened to the sermons, sought Godly council-the whole 9 yards- in efforts to prepare myself to be the man God would have meet, date, and ultimately marry the woman God has for me.  I’ve followed the rules and guidelines set forth by scripture in many cases to the T.  Yet, at the end of the day, and subsequently end of every relationship, I find myself alone wondering what went wrong.  There is always the classic “it’s not you, its me” routine that I get, but it just feels like that doesn’t suffice.  In most of the relationships I’ve been in I’ve done what was required of me by the book and come away empty handed.

Here is how my typical relationship goes:

Meet a girl I find attractive

Talk to her to get to know her

Ask her out

Go on a few dates

Meet her friends and maybe family

Steer clear of physical contact that would lead to sin

Keep a very open line of communication about my intensions and where the relationship is going

Pray regularly about doing the right thing in all aspects of the relationship

Seek advice from friends and Godly council

Go on a few more dates

Get dumped

So what do we do with the idea of a relationship not working even when we do all the right things?

To be honest, I don’t know.

The easy answer, that isn’t so easy to accept, is to trust God in His timing and ultimate plan.  We do not have infinite knowledge and intellect…He does.  He knows what’s best for us in everything, even relationships.

At times I wish I had done something wrong in relationships so I could look at the situation and say “this is what I need to fix”, fix it, and be ready to go into a relationship with everything worked out.  That’s not how these things work though.  Sometimes it just isn’t right.  The timing may be bad, the other person may not be ready for a relationship, or God is trying to teach you something else entirely.

There are those moments of doubt and being nothing but perplexed by the situation of things not working out, but that does not mean God has given up on the whole thing.  Perhaps the best practical way we can go about it is continuing to do what is right in God’s sight and know that He will reward the effort some day in one way or another.

So for those fellow warriors still in the confusing battle that is “lack there of”…hold on!

It is always too early to quit.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Please note that this, in no way, is a knock on anyone that subscribes to a certain idea, book, or philosophy on dating.  Nor is this a dig at anyone of the girls that have dumped me along the way.  Instead, it is just me attempting to shed some light on what I see as a frustrating aspect of the life of a single person in a Christian context.

peace.

God speaking to me...this time about relationships

God can speak to us in so many ways.  That alone is impressive.  It is even more impressive that God speaks to us in ways that hone in with our personalities.  Lately gone has been speaking to me through means of my intellect more so than through experiences.  A perfect example of this is how much I feel I've learned recently about relationships and the actions God calls me to in those regards, and I'm not even in a relationship.

Over the course of the past several weeks I have had great Godly conversations with several people about their relationships, models of Godly relationships, or what Scripture says about the subject.  These conversations have been ones that truly speak to me despite that fact that I cannot fully relate to every aspect of them because of my standing in the world of "relationships".  In addition to that, I've had one particular old friend that has been posting up a storm on facebook about her single friends needing to contact her to find a mate. While it's been comical at times, she has also taken to blogging about the topic and how she sees many of the struggles and factors that come into play in the dating world.  It is a great read and a source that I think highly of-she's been married for a few years now and has 3 kids with her wonderful husband.

Then, a BCM director friend posted a link to a church's site where they have the audio from a sermon series about relationships and marriage.  It's good stuff. 

Bouncing off of that, I read through 1 Timothy 6:11-12 and was very encouraged and challenged to prepare myself to step up more as a man.  And when I say "prepare myself to step up more as a man" I mean in every aspect of life: relationships, my witness and testimony of Christ's continual work in my life, ministry, finances, and thought.  God does not call me, as a man, to an easy and sidelined existence.  The creator of the universe made me in such a way that I would take hold of every opportunity before me to bring glory to His name in a mighty way.  That goes for how I pursue and treat a women to how I make the most of every opportunity to serve those around me as Christ served.

I also think about how fortunate I have been in my life to be surrounded by great men of God that have given a great example of how to lead, serve, and minister without sacrificing manhood in any way.  I look at men like my hometown pastor Johnny Hutchison, my college roommate and bff Ben Neiser, and my buddy Jace Tubbs who have all modeled how to be a man in service to everyone around them, especially their wives.  I hope to be able to live a servant manhood as they have in all aspects of my life, including marriage.  But, I'm not there yet, so for now I listen and prepare.


-peace

women... part 1 of many i'm sure

As I get older and remain single I learn more about myself, what I want in a relationship, and what God wants for me in both areas along the way.

In many ways I feel I've thrown off the desires to hastily get into any relationship that presents itself just because I long to be in one, but also look for the opportunity to be a man, step up to the plate, and make something happen when it is presented.  This is a fine line that I find very difficult to navigate (making and letting things happen).

One realization I have come to throughout my journeys in knowing and pursuing women is the fact that my "list" of "needs" (that being things and qualities a woman must have for me to consider her a viable option) gets shorter and shorter over time.  When I was in college my list consisted of things so specific, I would have only been able to date a female version of myself.  No one could live up to the criteria.  As of late, while my list has not gotten down to just one or two simple, and of course Godly, things, it is much more manageable.

Ultimately I would love to have someone to come along side of me in every aspect of life; ministry, social outings, random life adventures, and the like whom stands for the same things I do (making Christ's name known, loving others, and enjoying time on this green planet while we have it).  I find all the minor details I used to get worked up over insignificant.  Do I still long deep within me to marry a woman that loves college football as much as me? Yes, of course.  Is that the, or even a, determining factor that makes or breaks a girl for me? No...not any more (it used to be).

I may never find a girl that loves all the same music that I do, shares my affection for all things bacon, or even knows how football "works".

As it says in Proverbs 31:1a
"A wife of noble character, who can find?"

Well I sure haven't found her, but I sure as heck am looking.

In the end God has a plan for my future in this area of life we call "love" and even though it may not look as storybook as I'd like it to, I'm fine with that because He knows these things a lot better than I do. He did create the whole thing after all.


-peace

is my all not enough?

I'm not one of those that has a dramatic testimony as to how Christ came in and dramatically rearranged my life.  I was not turned from a life of killing people, selling and doing drugs, selling my body for money, ripping poor people off, or the like.  Instead, I was ten years old when I became a Christ follower.  I did so not because my life was so much in shambles that He was the only place I could turn for relief.  Instead, I turned to Him because I realized, the best a ten-year-old's understanding manage, that I was a sinner that could do nothing to earn Heaven on my own.

After that point though, I continued to stay on my path of being a "good kid".  To this day, I have never done drugs, consumed alcohol (outside of Nyquil), had sex, or killed anyone.  Yet, even with my list of "I haven'ts" I remain unworthy of His mercy.  I have sacrificed many things, including relationships, countless physical pleasures, material possessions, and a career that would pay decent, all for Him.  With this, it would seem that I'd have a right to proclaim that I have earned some sort of extra favor with God.  I'm a minister for goodness sake after all.  Yet, even with all that I have done it remains a feeble effort at best compared to God's perfection.

"We all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment."
                                                                                                                                   Isaiah 64:6

We, as humans, have a condition of sin that makes living up to God's standard impossible on our own merit.  We are not sinners because we sin, we are sin because we are sinners.  While this is bad news at first glance, a closer look reveals something marvelous: while we are sinners by birth and condition and we continue to offer nothing but filthy rags at the feet of God on our best days of being righteous, because He is so Holy and Good, His Grace and Mercy abound so much that He is able to sustain us and do His work through us.  That is good news my friends.

So, even though I fail miserably and often and on my best day of doing good I still am not able to earn any good things from God, He continues to shower me with blessings and strength...because HE LOVES ME. (and you just as much)

Selah that



-peace

open minded

I was having a discussion via someone's facebook post the other day and something came to mind that I fins to be a growing trend in society.  There are a lot of people that claim to be very "open minded" but remain some of the most close minded people I know of.

Here's what I mean:
The discussion started as a talk about Texas' super conservative school boards forcing certain teachings down students' throats, which I'm against, but then turned toward science versus religion in a way.  I'll be the first to admit that science and any argument against it is not my speciality or something I'm all that interested in to be honest.  Yet, I kept find myself going back to this conversation because something stuck out to me in this individual that I see a lot in other areas of life.  Many people claim to have an open minded perspective but are, in fact, closed off from thought outside of what they're comfortable with.

Take politics for example.
(Again, this is not my area of expertise and I often care very little for it other than voting in an informed manner - there is too much drama that me arguing about is not going to change)
Often I see "liberals" talk about how "conservatives" are close minded about minorities, the poor, the environment, and spending.  In reality though, many times these are sweeping generalities and uninformed at that.  I see many "liberals" not open to the idea of more than one solution to problems or ways of learning.  The same could be said about "conservatives" thinking "liberals" are closed off to the ideas of religion and its place in government and schools, when, in reality, there are far more options than they consider or discuss.

At any rate, I feel that we've gotten to a place as society where any idea that isn't yours is shot down immediately as being close minded.  That, in and of itself, is the actual definition of being close minded.  It's really a shame that things are this way in government, public policy, and even within friendships.
We should all strive to have a truly open mind for whatever or whomever comes before us.

A couple things to keep in mind:
I do believe in absolute truth and don't budge on it, as prescribed by Scripture, so don't think I'm some "let's all get along and accept everything and everyone's ideas".  I know some of you have already judged me as such.  Don't do it.  You're being close minded.

Christians: Truth fears no question.  Just because you allow yourself to consider outside possibilities to questions you have or hear does not mean God is scared or changed.  He is truth and He is right.  Fear not.  An open mind is not the Devil's work.  If anything, it is God revealing himself to be what He is.


-peace

unique generation

I was born in a time unlike any other in history.
You might ask yourself, "What was so special about the fall of 1983?"

This was a time when Reaganomics was just getting started, Michael Jackson was becoming a solo pop star, and the internet was  still something that "the government had created" in comic books.  The times have changed, as happens often.  Yet, not since perhaps WWI when soldiers saw planes in combat has a generation seen such a dramatic change that would alter the future so drastically.

Before you write me off as the typical "back in my day" sorta thing, let me explain more in-depth.

Before those born circa '83 people grew up on typewriters and were introduced to the computer keyboard in adulthood for example.  Same goes for many things that are commonplace now for children to grow up on such major advances while their parents were introduced to them in adulthood: the internet, cellphones, CD's, mp3's, and the list goes on.

I remember very distinctly being labeled as "guinea pigs" by a teacher for a brand new idea being implemented into the junior high curriculum; "computer class".  It was a class made up of a room full of computers (each monitor taking up the area of a desk) with black screens where we'd type simple functions in yellowish type.  Two years later I was a part of the last class to take keyboarding class on these computers.  The following year, we had screens with color and (limited) access to the world wide web.  Growing up we could buy records on vinyl (not because it was cool or ironic, but because it was the only way to buy an album) until cassettes came out and then replaced by CD's ultimately.  The security device back then was putting tapes in a plastic holster at least 6 times the size of the cassette.

It is not the amount of things that changed or what they were (as long as there are vintage collectors, there will be vinyl and CD's around in someone's collection of antiques), instead it is the manner in which things changed and never looked back.  If you look back upon other times when things happened, they tend to be more slowly progressed and don't alter the future in such a dynamic way.
The rate at which online life (relationships, commerce, and news) is growing and will continue to grow, you can't help but see the dramatic and world-altertering change that I've been able to see in my short lifetime already.

It will be fun to blabber on, when I'm old, about how "back in my day" we didn't have this or that.  When a gallon of gas was under a dollar, when you went to the store to buy everything, when people knew what a floppy disk was, and when the internet was new.
It's very fun to be in the segment of the population stuck between Generation X, with their angst and over-reaction to their parents' causes and Generation Y, with their vast knowledge of technology and spoiled childhoods in which discipline was absent.
Is it frustrating being such a unique population? At time, yes.  Sometimes I feel that I don't relate to the true Gen Xer's because I'm too young, but definitely don't relate to the Gen Yer's because they like terrible music and don't appreciate a time when MTV played music.  But, what a unique opportunity to be on the cusp of the front end of monumental times that have been, and will be, like no other.


-peace